all american rejects

-The much anticipated Republican budget proposal was released this week. It was supposed to be the Anti-Obama budget with lots of nice deep tax cuts and spending freezes.  However, what the American public got was a 19 page basement pamphlet full of nothing. No details, no deficit reduction plan, nada.  At that moment the “Party of No” became the party of “Party of Nothing”. To see Boehner & Company pimping this mess in front of the camera’s was embarrassing. I will give them an “A” in PR disasters.  Maybe next time Eric Cantor can get Britney Spears’ help to write the next one.

-In other news from The Right, Rep. Michelle Bachman from Minnesota is calling for an uprising against big bad Socialist Obama. According to her, you’re not a true Patriot unless you are willing to fight to maintain tax breaks for the wealthiest 10%. The Founding Fathers did write about freedom from tyranny, true but they also wrote about sedition and treason as well. Of course I’m assuming Bachman has actually read the Constitution or the Bill of Rights. Silly me! 

-The Right has recruited another foot soldier in the war against everything: Joe The Plumber. Yep, they’ve asked an unemployed, non-union, non plumber to speak out against the Employee Free Choice Act. Feel free to laugh at the horny one. I am.

-Michael Steele emerged from the honeycomb hideout to let us know that he wants to be President if God wills it. What would Jesus do then if faced with criticizing Rush Limbaugh? I doubt the Lawd would say, “It was a jokey joke. I was just playin’ ya’ll!”

the punk stick and move

Since President Obama has turned into a big old stick of rubber-meaning any criticism seems to bounce right off him, the trolls from The Right have started going after his partner and biggest ally: Michelle Obama. It’s both and infuriating and sad to see the First Lady called such names as, “trash”, “angry”, and “bitch”, but in the realm of weak minds, indirect hits below the belt are par for the course.

It’s just so cowardly and low class; especially from a group of people who represent the wealthy and entitled. The Right’s brains trust is completely drained and devoid of any solutions, so the best they can come up with is to allow the foot soldiers of extremism to dominate the media with their “flirn flarn filth”. They’ve engaged in every kind of -ism known, and if called out about it, they declare that they are within their rights to say and do whatever.

Yes, freedom is a wonderful thing. It’s the bedrock of American society. Everyone has the right to behave as stupidly as they wish, but we also have a right to shut down any bitchass punk moves these nutters come with. It’s not right that Michelle, who isn’t an elected official suddenly has to take the brunt of these attacks because she happens to be married to a man they hate. It’s as if an internal memo was sent to all the neo-con talk show hosts and writers titled, “It’s Open Season on Michelle Obama”.  Seriously, let someone have said that sort of stuff about Laura Bush or Nancy Reagan and a mob with pitchforks, tar, and feathers would have been running through the streets calling for heads.

Are the collective Right even capable of engaging in adult discourse or are we all in for at least four more years of over the top attacks? Will they spare the children or will they become so desperate that even they will be caught in the crossfire?

the week that was

The BNP Paribas tournament ended Sunday with two intriguing finals. Vera Zvonareva of Russia defeated Ana Ivanovic for the women’s championship and Rafael Nadal blanked Andy Murray to win the men’s title. The two matches weren’t examples of exemplary tennis in the least, instead they were illustrations of mind over matter and sheer will over the elements.

The biggest winner of the day was the wind. It whipped inside the stadium, making hats fly and debris sail. It frayed nerves and sparked tempers by pushing balls wide and way past the white lines of the brilliant blue court of the Indian Wells Tennis Center. With gusts sometimes clocking 50 mph, the players found themselves battling more than just the guy or lady standing on the other side of the net. Mother nature played a major part in separating the men from the boys and the women from the girls.

Zvonereva was known for  years as the player more  likely to bury her face in her towel and bawl her eyes out during changeovers than winning titles. Zvonereva’s trail of tears and broken rackets had spread from Moscow to Miami and her perceived mental fragility was a real hindrance in her being taken seriously as a top player from both her fellow tour mates and the press. On Sunday, Vera dried her eyes and handled the blustery conditions like a seasoned, mature pro, unlike her higher ranked and more successful opponent Ivanovic.  After trading multiple breaks during the first set, Vera hunkered down and took control of the tiebreak after Ana faltered. During the second set, she controlled the rallies by keeping the ball low, in the court, and allowing Ana the flail away, making error after error. She wrapped up the set 6-2 and pocketed over $800,000 (she won the doubles too with partner Victoria Azarenka).

The men’s final was touted as a blockbuster bout between the tour’s best players. Rafael Nadal, the number one ranked player and 2007 winner against Andy Murray, the tour’s giant killer and Britain’s next great hope to win..anything. That match was anything but. Neither player scored an ace and both had more errors than winners. The determining factor was the same as the women’s final: The ability to adapt to the conditions, and Rafa won decisively. The 6-1, 6-2 drubbing was surprising because Murray was supposed to be the braniac of the tour. His versatile game and willingness to think on his feet were celebrated throughout the tennis world. However, he whinged and whined over calls. He cursed the wind and his shots landed in the net more than on the court. Nadal was the player who adjusted his serve, directed his shots with the wind, kept his feet moving, and drew Murray into the forecourt with clever slices and drop shots. On Sunday, Rafa was the tennis genius and Murray was the petulant loser. So much can be said about Rafa’s performance during this tournament, but I’m thrilled to see that he is finally getting the respect he deserves as a brilliant tactician.

Which makes it all the more surprising because during the semifinals, Murray used all of his wiles to defeat number two ranked and All Around King of Tennis, Roger Federer. Murray notched his fourth straight win over Federer by attacking his increasingly unreliable backhand and denying Roger the pace he needs to control a point. By the third set after a nasty fall, Murray had demoralized Federer so much that he only managed to eek out one game. The response to Federer’s latest collapse was one of resignation from his devoted fans. They now are beginning to realize that the dominance that Federer once had is no more. They are also frustrated by his apparent lack of initiative to change the situation. After testing out Darren Cahill, the deal fell through and Roger still remains coachless and unable/unwilling to change his approach towards his rivals.

Andy Roddick, Rafa’s semifinal opponent on the other hand is having one of the best starts he’s had in years. After making the semifinals in Australia, winning a title in Memphis, and making the final four in Indian Wells, Roddick has a lot to feel good about. After losing to Nadal after a closely fought second set, he went out a couple of hours later and won the doubles title with Mardy Fish.  See what a new coach and a loss of 15 pounds have wrought? Roddick may not win another Grand Slam title, but he can guarantee that he’ll remain in the mix. Along with John Isner’s great performance, American tennis fans had plenty to cheer about in the desert.

Some other thoughts:

-Can we please once and for all let go of the Williams vs. Indian Wells mess? Face reality. They are never going to play there again. Stop telling them to forgive and forget. Let the WTA deal with the situation.

-Can FSN find another color commentator other than Justin Gimelstob? His performance was without a doubt the worst of any commentator I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. During the coverage, (what little we saw of it) when he wasn’t making all the wrong predictions and conclusions, he wasted time drooling over various women in the stands. His embarrassing interview with Kate Walsh (WTF?) was truly the nadir of sports broadcasting. Tennis fans deserve better than a lout and a burping starlet. I know I sure as hell do.

-Speaking of FSN, why pay for rights to the tournament when you aren’t bothering to show it? To pre-empt and cut coverage in favor of high school wrestling and poker just seems like a complete waste of money-especially if you are trying to get more ratings. Here’s some advice, catch the clue bus and show some live tennis if you want tennis fans to tune in.

the kid with the golden arms

It was another match with another mind-blowing performance by Rafael Nadal. He was all but down and out against Argentinian David Nalbandian;the player responsible for giving him nightmares in the last part of the 2007 season. The one guy who was capable of wiping the court and tossing the Mallorcan in the nearest trash can.

The makings for an upset were there. All Nalbandian had to do was fire off his forehand and create impossible angles with his backhand in order to drive Rafa nuts. It worked for a set and a half, until 5-3 in the second set. Then something happened: Rafa started to remember. He remembered having his back against the wall during the fourth set of the Wimbledon final. He remembered being pushed to the limit during the Australian Open semifinal. He remembered beating James Blake two times in a row. He remembered humbling Jo-Wilfred Tsonga. In other words, he remembered who he was. He fought off five match points and won the second set in a tiebreak.

By the third set, those golden arms of Nadal were working like nobody’s business. Now HIS forehand was on fire and HIS backhand redefined the principles of geometry, and it was Nalbandian who stood at the baseline looking shell shocked and deflated. Rafa didn’t allow a single game. He won the match and walked off the court leaving yet another demon in his wake.

This man is simply amazing.

In other news:

Dinara Safina once again tettering on the edge of number one, lost in the semifinals. I have nothing else to say. Serena’s going to remain number one until someone steps up and snatches it away. And I mean snatch it from her hands, not sneak in the back door or crawl through the window.

Back to black

First Lady Michelle Obama graces the cover of March Vogue.

 

Beyonce is April’s cover model.

When has Vogue featured black women on back to back covers? And they don’t have to share their space with some random white model! A-maz-ing. And about damn time.

What a coup, Anna Wintour has discovered that black people are everywhere. Some even read Vogue!

Battle of the Blondes part deaux

Meghan McCain took her “Blonde Republican Ambition” tour to The Viewthis morning and she had quite the response to Laura Ingraham’s criticism of her criticism of Ann Coulter. While yukking it up with the hens on the show, (including fellow flaxen haired conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck. But for the sake of readers, I won’t mention her again)-she let it be known that she did not take kindly to the cheap shots about her weight. But cheap shots are what the Republicans are best at. Ms. McCain betta recognize. However, I admire her moxie, even if it was jacked from Tyra Banks.

See for yourself:

Scoreboard: Laura Ingraham-1 good snarky sneer, Megan McCain-1 blog smackdown, 2-talk show pwns.

UPDATE:Laura Ingraham strikes back! On her blog she called Mehghan McCain a “useful idiot” and a “tool of the liberal media” because she has the temerity to criticize fellow conservatives. Now if I were Meghan McCain I wouldn’t take that! No, not the “useful idiot”, the “tool of the liberal media” slur.

The golden rule of neo-cons is that you don’t criticize other conservatives, so sayeth the late Ronald Reagan. You just don’t do it; even when aforementioned conservatives behave like blubbering, paranoid, narrow minded fools.

caption this!

Battle of the Blondes

Forget the big MMA championship going on this weekend in Cali, folks. The real battle’s happening between three peroxide loving conservative ladies on The Right: Ann Coulter, Meghan McCain, and Laura Ingraham. To save you dear readers from wasting a whole bunch of time searching the innernets and having to weed through a bunch of Republican rhetoric, I’ve provided a condensed version of events:

So, there’s like this writer called Ann Coulter who sells books with titles, “Slander, and “Guilty” and appears on Fox News where she rolls her eyes and tosses her head a lot. She apparently hates Liberals because they don’t believe in torture or perfecting Jews. Because she hates Liberals so much many on The Right adore her, even when she attacks her own kind. Like when she trashed John McCain in one her columns on the beacon of hate, Townhall.com:

 “John McCain is Bob Dole minus the charm, conservatism and youth. Like McCain, pollsters assured us that Dole was the most “electable” Republican. Unlike McCain, Dole didn’t lie all the time while claiming to engage in Straight Talk.” (“‘Straight Talk’ Express Takes Scenic Route To Truth”, January 24th, 2008).

Well, Ann’s tirade didn’t seem to sit well with the daughter of Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain. Meghan  McCain recently wrote on her own blog for the Daily Beast,

“I straight up don’t understand this woman or her popularity. I find her offensive, radical, insulting, and confusing all at the same time. ..Coulter could be the poster woman for the most extreme side of the Republican Party. And in some ways I could be the poster woman for the opposite. I consider myself a progressive Republican, but here is what I don’t get about Coulter: Is she for real or not? Are some of her statements just gimmicks to gain publicity for her books or does she actually believe the things she says?” (My Beef With Ann Coulter”, March 9th, 2009). 

Young Meghan should know that it doesn’t matter if Ann believes what she says if she’s getting paid beaucoup bucks to say it. But let’s abandon critical analysis for the time being and get back to the bitchfest. Well, Meghan’s also been hitting the talk show circuit. She even appeared on the flamiest of flaming Liberal’s show, Rachel Maddow making her debut in the “I’m a Republican but not THAT kind of Republican” Cotillion. She wants everyone to know that she’s a Progressive Republican and just because she’s blonde and rich, it doesn’t make her meanie like Ann. She even has Liberal friends!

When asked about Meghan’s comments concerning her, Coulter stated, “It doesn’t matter”. Snap!

Today  another blonde Republican decided to put her box of Clairol in the mix. Radio talk show host Laura Ingraham took it to Ms. McCain by doing what extreme right wing ideologues do when hit in the face with some constructive criticism: She mocked her.

“How long before she totally totally abandons the Daily Beast and makes it official at the Huffington Post?” Laura sneered. And then she went in for the kill by derisively referencing McCain’s past reflections on her body issues, “Ok, I was really hoping that I was going to get that role in the Real World, but then I realized that, well, they don’t like plus-sized models. They only like the women who look a certain way. And on this 50th anniversary of Barbie, I really have something to say.”

OOOH BURN!

So there you have it. Meghan McCain is the new spokesmodel for Progressive Republicanism and wants to change the world of Right Thinkers one color stick at a time. However, as far as Ann and Laura are concerned, it doesn’t matter what Meghan thinks because she’s fat.

Stay tuned for Round 4.

in remembrance

Today 10 people were killed  in Samson and Geneva, two towns in Southern Alabama. They were apparently shot to death by a lone gunman who later killed himself. I just want to take a minute to remember and honor the victims. I know that within the coming days, most of the focus will be on the killer. The victims were parents. They were children. They were co-workers. Cut down in a completely senseless act of malice and violence.

 

 May they rest in peace.

davis cup dribbles

Final results for Davis Cup:

 Spain takes care of Serbia 4-1 move into the quarterfinals against Germany in July. Rafa Nadal and David Ferrer won their singles without dropping a set. And Nole Djokovic remains winless in Davis Cup competition. Dang.

 

 Radek Stepanek and his fellow countrymen upset overwhelming favorite, France 4-1.

 

 Israel rallies to defeat Sweden 3-2.  Even with empty stands inside, Swedish police clashed with protesters outside the arena. The next face Russia in the quarterfinals in July. I’m just hoping there won’t be any more foolishness.

 

 Argentina’s second string team took care of The Netherlands 3-0.

 

 Russia gave their fans something to cheer about. They took care of Romania, 4-1.

 

 Marin and Super Mario sweep Chile 3-0.

 

 Germany wraps up Austria 3-2. They are moving on.

 

  The USA defeated a Federer-less Swiss team Sunday in Birmingham, Alabama. With his victory over Stan Wawrinka, Andy Roddick is just one match behind John McEnroe for the most wins by an American in Davis Cup. Way to go USA!