not angry, just tired

In an interview with CBS news today, First Lady Michelle Obama sought to straighten the record after excepts of Jodi Kantor’s just released book, “The Obamas” were leaked to the New York Times last week. In the article, Kantor characterized Mrs. Obama as an anxious yet fierce ally of her husband who often clashed with the President’s inner circle.

“That’s been an image that people have tried to paint of me since, you know, the day Barack announced, that I’m some angry black woman,” She said when asked about her thoughts on the book’s description of her. Her statement is nothing but the truth too. I’ve heard it and read it myself about the FLOTUS.

“Why doesn’t she ever smile?”

“She looks so mean!”

“She seems like a Grouch!”

“She looks angry because she’s not proud of her country.”

I know the instinct to protect precious brain cells prevents most people from subjecting themselves to the Yahoo comments section or the message boards of FoxNews.com, but just stop by one day if you are in doubt. There is some serious First Lady hatred going on and it has yet to let up in the three years since the election. For black women, it is par for the course and I could just sense a collective head nod occurring when she talked about the criticism that has been aimed at her.

“The Angry Black Woman” meme has become the gold standard stereotype leveled at African American women. It’s as if people think it’s been imprinted on our DNA to mean mug and roll our necks. Nothing could be further from the truth, especially in the case of Michelle Obama. She’s one of the most photographed women in the world. There are plenty of pictures out there of her smiling, laughing, and hugging people. But the critics of the administration and thirsty journalists aren’t trying to put that bit of fact out there.

Then again, even if they did who would believe them? Even if a picture of Michelle Obama was published on the cover of USA Today that had her cheesing like a Cheshire cat, it still wouldn’t make that much of a difference. Some people would still find something wrong, just like they do with the rest of us. How many sistas have been pulled aside and told by a boss or a co-worker and told that they have a bit of an attitude? When was the last time some random stranger veered out of their lane and directed one of us to, “SMILE!”? I have a dozen examples, and those are just my own. It’s tiresome to say the least.

Maybe the focus should be on , “The Tired Black Woman”. She’s real and she’ll tell you that she is sick of the lies. Black women are as diverse in their dispositions as they are in their body types. It’s too damn sad that the First Lady of the United States has to defend herself for being who she is, like so many of us have had to do.

 

 

Rafa: A review

As any Rafael Nadal fanatic will know, his birthday is June 3rd, 1986 which makes him a Gemini. The sign of the twins, it connotes a duality of the spirit and mind. This particular Gemini is no exception. Tennis fans as aware of Nadal’s fierce persona on court as they are of his reserved one off the court. To me, this was the central theme of the book: Nadal’s ability to meld the two extremes within the existence of the chaotic world of professional tennis.

The book begins with Nadal giving a play by play of his 2008 win over Roger Federer at Wimbledon. Called by many as the greatest match ever played, it was interesting to hear first hand his thoughts on that epic match. To him, the match was a culmination of all the work, the sacrifices, the disappointments, and the struggles he has endured in his career. As he relayed each point and each game to the reader, one gets a sense that it was always more about proving to himself that he deserved to win this coveted prize rather than to anyone else.

I have to say this these were not the most compelling parts of the book, in my opinion. I was more intrigued by his and his family’s details of his many insecurities. I was gripped by the the willingness of Nadal and those around him to strip the warrior facade bare and reveal a man who in spite of his calm demeanor, is in constant battle with his fears. Fear of injury, fear of a lack of confidence, fear for his family’s safety and security, fear of dogs, the dark, and loneliness. I was so interested in  learning about all the various coping mechanisms he employs in order to deal with these various fears. His acknowledgement that his overwhelming need to control his environment in every capacity in order to function along with his family’s and team’s willingness to give him that control, was fascinating to me.

That’s not to say that he is a piteous creature. He isn’t. All throughout the book, he comes across as grounded, sensitive, and good natured. Nadal is truly a blessed individual. Not only is he an innately talented athlete but he was able to thrive in a ideally supportive environment. True, many successful athletes do. The difference is, Nadal makes a point to express how grateful he is for this. In a world filled with narcissistic and entitled athletes, Nadal is a rarity. He points to each member of his family and support group as playing a part in his success. Yes, other athletes give shouts out too. However, you really get a sense that Nadal actually means it.

Naturally, the most praise and the most criticism is reserved to the most central figure in his life, his uncle and coach Toni Nadal. Toni Nadal is portrayed as both professor and provocateur. Zen master and Antagonist. Reading through the torturous training methods and the psychological warfare Toni Nadal inflicted on his nephew, one had to wonder how and why did Rafa Nadal turn out to be so good? Why did he accept it? What kept Rafa from rebelling? The answer was given by Toni Nadal himself, “because he would.” It was a deep and unshakable trust molded by culture and clan that indeed allowed Toni to do what he did and have it work. I think tennis fans looking back and ahead will probably never find a more intriguing and complex coaching relationship.

What lingered with me after I read the last few sentences of the book late into the night was that I was fortunate to get a glimpse of a deeply complex individual who fights constantly to follow a simple life philosophy: Work hard, stay humble, and success will come to you. Credit goes to John Cain for his nimble phrasing and the admirable ability to weave a tight narrative throughout the book. It could have easily been a real snooze had he not interspersed life lessons and anecdotes within Nadal’s recitations of his most significant matches. This is not the book to find hot gossip on his rivals or friends. There are no sexy revelations or hilarious stories of rule breaking or rebellion. It’s just a book about a young man. A young man gifted with a mind and game that millions would dream of having, recalling what helped him win the most important match of his life and what it has meant to him.

This fan was satisfied.