waiting for the hammer to drop

For the past 18 months or so, R&B singer Chris Brown has been criticized, shunned, ignored, called out, critiqued, and laughed at because of his conviction for physically assaulting his girlfriend, Pop music star Rhianna. Rightly so, I say. He did it, people didn’t appreciate it, and he served his punishment (what little they gave him). With many stumbles along the way, he’s trying to repair his reputation. Not to rub salt, but remember the public outcry and the incessant attention his case generated? You couldn’t turn on the television or get on the internet without having some headline blare at you about it.

Fast forward and another celebrity is involved in a domestic dispute. Movie star Mel Gibson has been accused of attacking his girlfriend and abusing her over the phone. About a week ago, a transcript of the phone conversation was leaked and good lord almighty was it awful. Sprinkled in with some old-fashioned crazy hate, Mel managed to spice up things with some racism, violence, and all around psychopathology. He was already in career crisis after he was arrested for drunk driving  in 2006 and abused the officers with anti-Semitic rants and sexually inappropriate comments. Just yesterday, the audio of his lovely conversation with his child’s mother was released and it was even worse than the transcript. One would think that the calls for his head would be heard far and wide…

Well, his talent agency dropped him. “Showbiz Tonight ” talked about it a bit,  Some interviews with people on the street were done by the local news and some of them said they would boycott his movies, but where is the serious condemnation? None of his peers have said anything, not even Danny Glover. Looking..looking..where’s the outrage folks?

This guy is a megastar. His movies have made millions of dollars. He’s won an Academy Award. He was one of “People’s Sexiest Men Alive”. He doesn’t get the same treatment as Chris Brown? Is he getting a pass because of his past success? If he is, let me remind you all that abuse is abuse. I don’t care how many gold statues you have won. Any man who puts his hands on a woman, or threatens her with bodily harm should be put to task, and arrested!

Oh and the racism..Remember Michael Richards being hounded and pummeled for his rant at a comedy club that was caught on tape? He had to give a tearful apology and we haven’t heard from that mofo since. Will the Hollywood establishment speak out against one of their own? Will they publicly disavow his statements? Black folks buy movie tickets too. They might want to remember that.

I’m still no fan of Chris Brown and I never will be, but I can understand if he isn’t saying to himself, “Wait just a damn minute here!”

Letting go..

Climbing up the those stone steps

with her behind me.

Listening to that familiar litany of how I’m not this

and I need to do that and

I’m just not good enough,

Mother wit is toxic waste.

Acid insults are shooting out and

burning painfully against my back.

Making the child in me feel like nothing

again.

Those slippery stone steps

covered with the last remnants of ice.

Impeding the progression to the hell

lying in wait inside.

She’s behind me and she’s feeble.

Her balance isn’t what it used to be.

I hear her struggling but I don’t turn around.

She’s losing her grip as she’s calling my name.

I turn to see her fingers slipping from the rail.

Everything’s has slowed down now.

I grab her hand before her fall.

She looks up at me; in gratitude I hope.

But a scowl meets my face instead.

“Help me” she shouts and she starts to curse me.

Degradations of the past start to

run through my mind.

My grip is not so sure now.

Ruined birthdays and miserable holidays.

All decorated with guilt, depression, and anger.

Screaming breakfasts and silent dinners.

My head is pounding now.

I take another look into that face.

Searching for something to love.

Hoping that’s there’s at least one thing

worth saving at least.

She’s teetering with my fingers

acting as a bridge between life and death.

Why am I wasting time?

My mind should be made up by now.

Besides, it’s really cold

and Mother is so old…

So I Let Go.

photoshopped and screwed

This month’s Self magazine cover girl is Season 1 American Idol Winner Kelly Clarkson. And doesn’t she look great? She looks all fresh faced and trim and everything. The problem is, that’s not her. Well I take that back. It’s her digitally created doppleganger.  How ironic that a magazine that has the words,  ”Total Body Confidence” on its cover feels the need to photoshop its cover model into some almost unrecognizable fantasy girl.

When this obvious point was brought up to the Editor in Chief of the magazine, Lucy Danzinger stated that it was a standard practice to digitally alter photos. According to her it’s art, not news. She is right in once aspect; digital alteration of photos is a standard practice. Every magazine cover from Vogue to Newsweek features subjects that have had crow’s feet, tummy bulges, and flyaway hair magically brushed away. Pale starlets are given tans and African Americans skin tones are made lighter and brighter. It’s all based on the notion that real people looking like they really do won’t sell magazines.

That’s where Ms. Danzinger has it wrong. As much as we all would like to have our own personal digital alteration program that allows us to wipe away all of our flaws , that just ain’t the way things are. One of the most important lessons all of us have to learn is that we have accept ourselves as we are, otherwise happiness is as much an illusion as that girl on the magazine cover. Hell, the name of the magazine is SELF. What are they trying to hawk? Self love obtained by Adobe? What’s the real message? You can be your best self–only if you’re skinny with no acne?

Kelly Clarkson has always stated how proud she is of her body, so she has to be extremely disappointed that her pride in herself was brushed away with a few keystrokes.