Fashion Forward: Day 1 at Oz

The 2012 Australian Open is officially underway. The story for day one was the heat. After a week of mild and rainy weather, the Aussie summer arrived at full blast with temperatures reaching the high 90′s (Fahrenheit). The two top guys won. The two favorites on the ladies’ side came through comfortably. A couple of dark horses struggled early on. The oldest women’s player was bounced and one of the youngest was trounced. There was a dramatic women’s match, a comeback from an American full of promise and a mild upset.Yes, yes, all very compelling.

However, the most important subject of the day was the fashion. It’s the first Slam of the year, so everyone’s watching to see what the clothing sponsors were going to inflict upon us.

Adidas gave us this:

Fernando Verdasco

Was it something he did in a former life? No one deserves this kind of punishment no matter how much money is dished out. To make matters worse, his entourage was decked out in this monstrosity as well. Nothing bands together a bunch of men like sharing the shame of a horrible outfit. He lost his match in five sets. If he was smart, he’d toss the entire outfit in the trash bin. But Adidas wasn’t finished. For the ladies…

Caroline Wozniacki

Maria Kirilenko

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This tangerine/pink combo is simply a crime against the non-colorblind. Horrific. I’m sure many tennis fans were hit with a craving for a Big Mac and some fries.

Let’s see what Nike had for us:

Petra K.

Vika A.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m digging the teal/purple/light green combo. Vika’s shorts are quit natty and a nice departure from the regular tennis skirts and dresses. The focus is definitely more gym babe than Victoria’s Secret model.

Let’s look at the custom kits, shall we?

Federer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have to say, Nike always does Federer well. This year is no exception. The red and white combo is simple and stylish. The white initials are needless I think considering everyone knows who “RF” is.  Good job.

Rafa

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rafa’s Nike kit follows the same tradition for him: Bright colors. The shorts are slightly shorter this year than in previous ones and the knee bandage isn’t available for purchase. It took a while to get used to the light green, but now I like it. It suits him. He also has the best custom shoes in the game.

And as for Fila:

Kim C.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Black/White/Lime Green combo. One word: Boring! I’ve always loved Fila’s simple, color blocked style but this is unimaginative. Oh but wait..

Jelena J.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s Jelena Jankovic’s custom Fila kit…You know what, nevermind.

 

Li Ning is bringing the Canary Yellow.

Ivan L.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lacoste is bringing the White (as usual) with a little bit of tan.

John Isner

Alize Cornet

yes and no (another day at the U.S Open)

It’s day 3 of the U.S Open and I’m already awed by the high quality tennis. Andy Murray looked invincible in his 1st round match. Venus looked very strong even after being tested by a girl who was playing in her first ever Grand Slam tournament. Isner did his thing. Jamaican player Dustin Brown caused an upset, and 18-year-old American Ryan Harrison caused an even bigger one by bouncing out veteran Ivan Lubijic.

Along with Ivan, we said goodbye today to Tomas Berdych (Andy Murray sleeps a little more soundly tonight), Na Li, Jie Zheng (she was beaten by some girl named Ana Ivanovic), Andy Roddick and Victoria Azarenka. Azarenka wasn’t beaten by her opponent though, she was keeled over in the middle of her match and was later diagnosed with a mild concussion. Weird. Let’s all hope for a speedy recovery for Vika. Things just aren’t the same without her snarling at a ball boy.

So again, YES to the tennis, but NOOOOO to the following:

Nope. The gathering at the bodice is distracting and the skirt is way too short.

Non! She only lasted 1 round and that was enough. All the bad mojo and voodoo in the world was woven into that dress-along with some leprechaun vomit.

Nada! The outfit is an out take from the party store challenge on “Project Runway”. Velvet like material belongs on portraits of Elvis and Tupac.

Nyet! The day kit wasn’t any better.  Bra straps popping with a halter teamed with a skirt that constantly had to be adjusted means a big ol’ pile of #FAIL. I hope she wins the tournament though. Still love ya, Vee.

shoe fetish part two

A couple of years ago, I wrote an entry about my disdain for shoes. Specifically, the ordeal of shopping for shoes. I have huge feet and cute shoes just don’t come in my size. Two years later, my feelings about shoe shopping haven’t changed that much, even though I’ve found some online stores that carry shoes in my size. /what has changed is my feeling about shoes. I understand why women love shoes. I love shoes. I really like crazy looking and outrageous shoes. Not to wear, but to just look at.

I’m fascinated by the physics involved in sporting 5-inch stilettos. I crave the power that some women feel when they sport sky-high platforms. I crave the feeling of having legs that look like they go on forever in a pair of F.M pumps. I also respect and admire the creativity involved in designing novel shoes. Even though I probably could never afford a pair of  couture shoes, I can’t stop looking at them. I can’t help wondering what it would feel like to slip a pair of them on.

The dearly departed Alexander McQueen will forever have a place in my heart because he designed these:

These are from the House of Galliano.

Christian Louboutin designed these monstrosities.

Painful looking, gravity defining, woman hating, torturous and beautiful. To put it simply: Art.

recessions are so démodé

What do the fashionistas of world need to show that the economic recession means diddly squat to them? Get a pair of $595.00 jeans that’s what! American designer Donna Karan heeded the call for completely ignoring financial suffering by creating what she calls the “perfect pair” of jeans. This miracle garment supposedly lifts the booty and hides the fat rolls. But to the liposuction crew what matters is that the rivets are individually sewn on, all the stitching is done by hand,there’s a personal message by Karan written inside the lining, and they are about the same amount as someone’s rent. Nothing boosts the narcissist ego more than saying, “I’m wearing a week’s paycheck on my ever expanding ass!”.

As for me, those jeans have to make me absolutely irresistible to men, make my legs look 3 inches longer, my gut 6 inches smaller, enable me to fly to work, and turn my chocha to gold before I can justify spending that much money on them. But I know I’m not part of Donna’s target audience. I’m not the type that gets off letting everyone know how much I paid for something (unless it was a bargain!). Silly choices in my youth have taught me that it is preferable to have food in the fridge than a wildly expensive pair of jeans. Even if I could afford them,  I know a pair of $595 jeans that will probably be out of style by this time next year would provide me with less satisfaction than say a $595 plane ticket to see my family in Little Rock. What can I say? My priorities are a bit too screwed up for the glitter set.

For those who have no problems with plopping down that much for some denim ( and I don’t care if it’s diamond cut Italian), have at it. I know that Donna Karan’s  got to eat but I can’t help her out. And I think it’s a shame that she’s counting on neurosis and lack of self esteem to get women (or the women’s boyfriends and husbands) to buy into the dream that looking good shouldn’t have a price. Well,  I can look just  fine in a pair of $75 Lucky Brand and that’s reality.

(pic by the NY Post)

Black is the new Black?

During New York’s Fashion Week, a new trend was discovered on the runways. No, not hiked up hemlines or cropped jackets but rather a large number of black models this season. Up to 25 new and gorgeous faces were featured in shows by DNKY, Diane Von Furstenberg, and Tracey Reese.

So what was up? Why the turnaround after years of black models being marginalized and ignored? A new sense of Kumbaya? A desire for “Something New”? Low sales? Maybe. Or it could have been the result of the huge response of this year’s Italian Vogue, aka “The Black Issue”. With over 100 pages featuring Naomi, Veronica, Liya, and Toccara, the magazine completely sold out and became a worldwide phenomenon.

Now don’t et me wrong. I think it’s wonderful that the fashion world has finally woke up and tried to acknowledge African beauty. But the thing is, they should know by now that black women buy designer clothes, accessories, and make-up and we want to see that buying power respected and represented. No offense to the Kate Moss’ of the world, but when I see her featured in an ad I never feel like she represents me. Well, unless I was a tiny British woman with an overbite in another life. It’s about freaking time that the world’s top designers recognize that racism exits, even in the gilded and deluded world of fashion.

My hope is that this isn’t a temporary reprieve of guilt but rather a catalyst for real change in the way fashion is created, presented, and marketed to the masses.  In the words of Tracey Reese, “If it’s too exclusionary, it puts me off.” Good for you Tracey, it should.